I was at home like I am every morning. Woke up late. Brushed my teeth. Ate breakfast. Washed and folded some clothes. And there I was sitting. Waiting. Like I always do.
I sent 2 friends a text yesterday. They didn't reply.
I sent another friend a text today. He didn't reply either.
I know they weren't going to respond. They do it far too often. It's not an accident. It's not some mistake. They just don't care to answer. It's been this way a while.
But I sent them anyway. And now several hours later, I'm still here, waiting, sitting, and hoping that things could be different. People and their promises. People and their words. People and their baggage. People and their lies. No one here is meant to last. I know it. I know them. I know them better then they know themselves. I know why they don't reply.
and now as I think about it all. As I think about why I even care, and why they never did, I can't help but feel a sense of inadequacy. I want to say it's not my fault. I want to say it's all them but maybe it's me too. Maybe it's for some unknown reason to me or even to them. Maybe.
What a word that is. Maybe. It's not until you said it that I realized how powerful that one word can be. Maybe
It can renew us. It can give us hope. It can make us try harder. But it can also frustrate us. It can make us desperate and scared. It can take away all our hope and lead us into despair.
There is no maybe in my world. A Word that generous has no place in my despair.
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