19

Some days I don't know if I do or not.
Some days I do but I can't.
But mostly all I ever do is try not to.
It's always the same.
Every day my heart screams out to you.
And every day you make it cry out for you.
Giving up is always so hard for me.
I take if very personally.
But this isn't my fault. 
I deserve this. It's my right.
I need this more than anything right now.
I always knew this day would come.
and I always wished it would.
I can't keep believing in a lie.
I feel so embarrassed to say this but
I was wrong.
Your are not what I made you up to be.
I wanted so badly to believe in something
In you.
But I was wrong
And I can finally say it..
I hate you with all my heart.
I've wanted to hate you for too long
and for too long I've stopped myself.
everyday was hard and every day after was harder
but Today it's simple.
Today you are dead to me.